Responsible parenting: Create memories, not expectations | Austeja Landsbergiene | TEDxRiga

Responsible parenting: Create memories, not expectations | Austeja Landsbergiene | TEDxRiga

We all are familiar with expectations. Expectations laid on us once to succeed in life. And without noticing we transfer all these expectations on our children. But do high expectations help our children to succeed in life?

Austeja Landsbergiene, Ph.D., CEO and founder of a private chain of pre-schools in Latvia and Lithuania is an educator and visionary who thinks that the most important thing that parents have to give their children is unconditional love and childhood memories filled with parent kindness. Austeja is confident that by creating memories, not expectations kids can flourish in their lives.

Austeja Landsbergiene has been awarded by the President of Lithuania and the King of Sweden a Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award for the enhancement of Lithuania’s education system through implementing new concept of teaching and for being an inspiring role-model, showing of how passion and knowledge can be turned into a successful business.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

50 comments

  • sara

    Thank you so much.
    In that mom that cook 3 meals a day.
    I’m exhausted.
    This is so true
    I will make a change.
    Thank you for this eye opener.

  • Califas

    this brought me to tears at the end. I’m always making excuses as to my plans to change to be a better mom once I have more money or have a better career or when I buy a house of our own or blah blah blah and it’s always tomorow tomorow and tomorow. i have to live for today and I see that but sometimes regret kills me so much that it disables me. I don’t abuse my children or neglect them but I am often cold and annoyed and inpatient and loud and I dont say I love u enough and I know it stems from my own child hood which upsets me cuz I have turned into my mother. I wish gor this generation cycle to stop and I want me kids to know I love them but I don’t know how to break the patterns I have only known. life is too short and I need to get my life straight and enjoy every single second of life with them and making them happy

  • Fashionforless

    The best ted talk on the subject

  • Alien 51

    what a coincidence 2 find this vid!!!
    u must b wondering why ""COINCIDENCE""
    cuz this vid was made just 4 me,
    I saw it in the right moment of my life……….
    children do what we do,
    not what we say!!!
    thnx 4 encourage me with da right words,
    dats exactly what I needed 2 hear.
    greets!!!

  • Meher Sulemani

    Your speech is amaing. You made upbringing of chidren easy.

  • Michael Skinner

    🤧💓

  • hanna pujol

    👌👌👌👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👌🌞🌞

  • Fay Turner

    Thankyou for this video shared to social media x

  • Michael Skinner

    My eyes are Killing me now….

  • TheCommotion

    Wire that nervous system to circulate love within and without! <3

  • Debbie Kostiuk

    oh wow clap

  • Amy Crookes

    Fantastic, I love this perspective

  • MeMyselfNailen

    Wow this is amazing!

  • Althea Battle

    Powerful message that made me really think about how I parent and ways that I can improve. Thank you!

  • Pegasus

    As soon as you have children you have failed and shown yourself to be irresponsible because the world is a dark place filled with dangers and you have just subject your children to this dark world

  • Shorena Ninua

    Come back to ski in Georgia. Loved this speach❤

  • Mrs. S Gor

    Well said. Thanks.

  • Sergej Beric

    I would be more honored to meet this woman than any president or a famous person tbh bcs its much more fullfilling to meet a person that values things that make us happy in life more than everything. give her a nobel prize ffs

  • YouTube Fangurl

    Very beautifully said….it certainly has opened up my eyes and ears

  • SikerGuru

    How else should she learn to wash down the nail-polish? Sure, bad bad mom… but please, try to educate and discipline your child in the meantime a little bit, too…

  • Lokadi Abedi

    Woow, woow!

  • Nikkii c

    🙏🏾🙋🏽💯💕👩‍👦 Amazing !!!

  • Amy Wilkins

    I think what she says has merit. I’ve seen how children thrive in this type of situation she describes. My brother and sister-in-law are both very kind, calm, and loving towards everyone. They have 3 sweet children who are not entitled or lazy, but are willing to be obedient and be kind to others as well. I’ve even seen their 2 year old girl be very mature and responsible. It’s incredible how a little kindness goes a long way.

  • rehana atif

    Motivational talk- Love it

  • DANNY MILAMBO

    GIRLS SONG

  • Nath Nail

    New thing I can learn from.
    Thank you very much. This is very helpful.

  • Maha

    "Whenever there is kindness in something, it adorns it, and whenever it is removed from something it disgraces it." Prophet Mohammad 😊

  • Slim Morden

    Some of the most significant exchanges between men happen without a word. Many will never understand.

  • Madhav Rayaprolu

    Confusing advice, although lots of nuggets of good tips. She advocates the perfect challenges – not too easy, not too hard. But the advice on how to get there is totally off. One advice is to do nothing – and let the child find challenges themselves – like her toddler walking example. Problem with that advice: walking is a natural urge. Homeworks, academics, healthy habits etc are unnatural. More so in today’s world of junk foods, smart phones and internet. Then she gives the example of a mom cooking 3 meals taking a tougher stance of cooking a single meal. Is that being kind to kids or kind to herself? Finally her advice on creating memories. How does this fit with all other advice she gave?
    To take her advice more positively – I guess we should do a bit of everything in moderation:: create challenges, but not too much to cause stress. Be kind, but not so kind that you are unkind to yourself and cooking 3 meals a day. Create expectations for kids, but make them age appropriate and beneficial to them. Somewhere along, create memories too.

  • Blue Walker

    This is exactly what I needed to hear. I have made many mistakes.😶

  • Yesmany Rangel

    Wow this was really insightful great talk!

  • Jayden's World

    I love that I watched this. I have a three year old. And if anything Ive learned is that I need to gain patience to his growing mind. I love that I watched this because it’s true. Kindness and making memories is what it should be about when we are together.

  • Storytime Book Bytes

    When I get off track, my son reminds me of this truth!

  • Kathryn Kessab

    Watching this today on my sons 3rd birthday.

  • yaraamon

    Very very good advice it touches the heart

  • A.K. Nesbitt

    Stay at home parents are the KEY to a better society, Better people and Better FUTURE!

  • susan johnson

    That’s my life to my children. Memories.

  • harshita joshi

    Agreed.
    It took a neat death experience for my parents to realise that…

  • Nada

    I am an ISFP. I loove creating memories and that is my first priority to do when I have time with familiy. But one thing that I am weak on: having expectations. I am always too afraid on having expectations. And it can be stressful sometimes. What do you think? 😀

  • Renee S

    Excellent!

  • Hyeo linlin

    wow amazing Thank you very much

  • Grace four today

    This brought so SO much awareness. Wonderfully said. I wish we could make a commercial about this to spread it. "If you want to change the world, go home and love your family".

  • Natasha Jansz

    Bravo

  • Sangeethimmaiah CHENANDA

    Absolutely! I believe in giving my child and us happy memories of his growing up years 💖

  • Алима Абеуова

    The most important thing that every dad and mom should know about their parenting!!!Bravo!!! Once Mother Teresa said:"The best thing you can do for family is just go to and love them!"👨‍👩‍👧‍👦❤️

  • kate kissick

    She just reinforced my type of parenting…..small children are so happy to give a helping hand…no matter how they wash the dishes or fold the clothes, praise them, it can all be done over after they go to sleep or off to school. In my opinion it is one of the biggest problems most mothers have is to try and make them do their chores the way we would do it or want it done.

  • Diana Nabela

    Brought me to tears

  • Cinthia de Souza

    Fantástico.. 👏👏👏☆☆☆☆☆

  • windydayuser021

    care the feelings of those you love. they’ll remember.

  • Marli Okono

    "Kindness makes children feel LOVED" ……… awwww💗