Peaceful Parenting: Negotiation, Bribery and Preparation
Peaceful Parenting: Negotiation, Bribery and Preparation
Practical non-violent parenting suggestions, advice on preventing the passing down of our damage to your children and general tactics for dealing with some challenging situations. Child negotiation, bribery, incentives, perpetration and the origins of a family of peaceful parents.
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Becoming conscious of hurtful patterns and being willing to change those patterns is the greatest gift we can give children"
where in the bible does Jesus say "As you treat the little children so you treat me? I’m trying to find it, it’d be pretty useful in a debate I’m having. Ya know, dogma rebuttal, sure would appreciate the assist. Have a nice day..
Where can I find the documentary?
"It is what it is" annoys me too when I hear it, but i think it the same as "when life gives you lemons"
You are so excellent at offering the possibility of raising solidly sane people that the following may be a useful resource for you to consider.
Better Baby Institute Discovery Channel
Even if his mother agreed to not talk about religion with his kids, I would not trust her. On occasion she will be left alone with them and talk about it behind the parents’ backs.
Stefan I would like to take the time out to thank you. I am the proud father of a three year old myself. Although I am not what you would call the perfect peaceful parent. I have definately been implementing some of these techniques into my own parenting style. Seeing the world and more importantly myself through my child’s eyes has enriched my role as father. It has made my world and more importantly my child’s world a beautiful place. Keep up the good work spreading this powerful message.
I’m trying to find one of stefan’s talks about POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT.. if anyone can tell me which video or time of the video I can find it, I would really appreciate it.
Stefan, do not come down on people so hard is my reaction to hearing you.
@ 1:00 The mom should not discuss religion out of respect for their parenting choices, not because she"owes" him. That is using manipulation instead of setting healthy boundaries. I also take issue with Stefan not allowing forgiveness to flow. Forgiving doesn’t mean you can’t hold someone accountable for the results of the actions. It doesn’t mean forgetting and acting like everything is fine. It is the willingness to not let the anger control you any longer. To demand expect retribution. But that should go hand in hand with truth about the matter and healthy boundaries in the future. And yes, woman, should be held accountable for their life choices!
This whole video hits really hard, a lot of similarities in his story. I’ve made a lot of mistakes myself with parenting and im so terrified i won’t undo the cycle. Can you, or anyone direct me to some good resources that i could look into being a good parent when i am still trying to repair damage from my childhood? I know this is an old video butmaybe someone will see
My worry is that the child won’t be ready with the aggressiveness in the world. How to cope with bullies for example…
Stefan, don’t let momentum do any of the work. Slow ur reps way down to be effective.
Irish twins, woot
In what verse in the bible does it say "kill all non-believers"?
"Spare the rod and spoil the child" is not in the Bible. It’s just a homily repeated by religious assholes.
at around 24 mins in…why do you blame the woman for the man not sticking around?
Stephan you should know that you have already made a huge difference in my child’s life. Because of you I have been able to completely remove all aggressive parenting from my communications with my child and I’m trying to teach my x wife and current wife not to bully my child. You have made a huge difference in our lives so thanks!
I wish, unfortunately everything our 3 daughters do gets on my husbands nerves. He yells at them daily and he cant stand them, I hate living like this, I love my girls so much and I hold them while they cry that daddy doesn’t love them. its the only thing in our marriage that we disagree on, how to raise the kids. He says they are irresponsible immature and no good for society and the only thing that can change that is corporal punishment. I say they are humans and need us to show them how to behave and belong in this big world. unfortunately we can not agree, I will never agree my kids are horrible people that need to be punished daily, and watching it HURTS SO MUCH, I can only imagine how much it is hurting them.
BTW the reason they are sending you dollars or 1.50 is because they are assume their responsibility in the size of your subscription.
My mother always said, no matter how bad the surroundings are, as long as you do the right thing, it wont affect you…
Please direct caller to the resources on my channel
You seem like an absolutely excellent parent, Stefan keep up the great work!
The more I listen to Stefan Molyneux, the more I agree with Stefan Molyneux.
I love how serious Stefan get’s. "It is what it is", I don’t know what that means. But Stefan is a grown man he knows DAMN WELL what that MEANS!
An eye for an eye is an awful moral philosophy. Unproductive, causes you to hold on to resentment and bitterness and continue to perpetuate negativity.
God bless you, your family and your work, Stefan. 🙂
Good conversation but I really wanted to hear more how-to on raising kids. I teach little kids so it’d be super helpful if I can adapt peaceful parenting techniques to my teaching practices.
I love working out.
Stef is just brutally, devastatingly good here.
My loving dad set rules/boundaries for me, if I broke these I would be threatened with a spanking. Sometimes he would warn me. When he did spank he took me to my parents bedroom, told me how many times he would spank me on my butt and then firmly spank me (usually 6,7 or 8 times). I would usually cry a little and feel awkward in front of him for a few hours. He only need to do this to me about four times in my life (between 4 to 10 years old). I am now a fully functioning, well disciplined adult (age 25)
Did the book ever happen? Great video.
I suspect that the spanking of the cousin may have been the catalyst since it was an older child (nearly age of majority), and it was someone else’s child; a child of someone who didn’t approve of the spanking and who likely confronted his mother.
Also, it is one thing for his mother to see her husband hit her children (terrible in its own right), but seeing that her husband was so out of control, that he would hit someone else’s child, may have been enough of a shock to break through her delusions and self-rationalizations about how.
1:07:38 Did Stefan almost tear up here?
Stefan Molyneux. Telling the truth, no matter how brutal.
Needing welfare is due to failure to prepare? I don’t think life’s that simple, Stefan, though I wish it was
I’m curious about the logic present in the discussion of this video: Patrick isn’t 100% responsible for the way his life turned out because his mother was a terrible parent who let an abuser come into the home. I get that, but why isn’t his mother given the same philosophical courtesy? How do we know what her childhood was like? Was she abused to the degree he was or worse, worse? If she was, doesn’t that mean she doesn’t quite deserve the verbal thrashing in this video because ultimately it was her parents who started all this? Or was it her grandparents?
I would very much like to see an episode where we can hear both sides of the story. I know that’s probably unrealistic due to the hesitation parents (especially abusive parents) would no doubt feel about having Stef put their shameful actions on stage so to speak, but I think ultimately both parties would get a lot more out of it. I got the feeling at the end that Patrick was going through a serious case of cognitive dissonance and it’s hard to tell if this really helped him out.
Anyway, thanks for the video Stef.
this is so hard to listen to and not be upset
break her. she knows what she did and lives in insane making shame. you can help liberate her, along with yourself.
At 48min mark: please provide reference to verses in the Bible that describe the thing you mention. I doubt we’re reading the same book.
Please explain how ALL the greats seem to have "violent" fathers? Name one who did not.
i still cant believe how I am not the one at fault, she was so good at making me think I was a problem child, yet I didn’t give a fuck, was always told I was a laid back happy kid. How the fuck did I manage to stay so positive through my childhood. Probably through damn delusion.
Stef, for all his good works, remains obsessed with messing with the heads of impressionable, higher IQ White kids, & guilt-tripping them into the belief that they must parent in an extremely intensive & high octane way.
In economic terms, he is raising the effective cost of parenting for this segment of the population, which has the effect of lowering the already well sub-replacement fertility rate of smart White people.
Yet while he will go on & on about his Universally Preferable Behaviour ("UPB"), you will never see him affording a moment of peace to this least abusive demographic while he takes his song n’ dance to demographics in far greater need of his preaching:
Women kicks baby to start a fight
But Stef remains blissfully unconcerned with disseminating his (arguably self-defeating, in group competition terms) wisdom beyond the echo chamber. It’s curious, really, how particularly _non-universal_ is this UPB.
at least that guy got an apology. my wife’s father won’t admit that he threw her down the stairs when she was 14.
This is one of my favorites shows Stefan. I’m truly thankful for the outstanding insight of this conversation. Thank you!!!!
His mother was evil, and I understand that the way you want to handle that would hold people totally accountable, wich would make them more mindful and responsible in the present moment. But the fact that this could work doesn’t mean it’s premises are true. You are talking like the things people do are rational, premeditated, conscious choices without exception. The issue of free will. But besides that, very often people CANT make better choices, because they don’t know better, they weren’t molded by the environment to be the kind of person that would make what we deem as a better choice in the moment. Now I don’t think this applies to the callers mother. But still you could call the caller evil because he messed up so bad with his first daughter, and cut some slack to his mother because she herself is a product of whatever environment she developed in. Here.comes again this issue of free will. Its problematic when we’ve been filled to the brim with bullshit and hold lies as truths. If we’ve been indoctrinated like this, what hope of making a good choice this person has? The Apple was spoiled, but it wasn’t it’s fault. Still,it should be treated like a rotten apple of course. I think it would give it The chance to redeem itself, and change with the new external incentives, with the guilt. Anyway, just wanted to comment on what you hold people responsible for, It felt bit extreme and unrealistic. Responsible as in saying there was any concious, working, rational process to making all choices and evn if there was indeed, well how the fact you were molded by your environment renders you unable to make certain choices and more prone to make others AND THINK they are good, an okay. I understand you should be held accountable either way though.
This was some of your best offerings and so well delivered. Thank you for your research, experiments, and honesty.
Seems inconsistent to me to tell the caller not to be to harsh on himself, while demanding full restitution from the mother.
As for your assumption that courts don’t ask the victim what did you do to upset the aggressor, surely you are aware that they do ask that question and they do actually use their ability to have the victim stop asking for justice so that they don’t have to work for a situation that wont have some big pay off for them. Please consider that our justice system is so much less pro active than you assume.
I’m a newly converted Christian, but I WILL be practicing preparation with my children.