PARENTING ADHD Tip #5: Things NOT to Say to an ADHD Child || Parenting ADHD || Homeschooling ADHD
PARENTING ADHD Tip #5: Things NOT to Say to an ADHD Child || Parenting ADHD || Homeschooling ADHD
Parenting ADHD Tip #5: Things NOT to Say to an ADHD Child || Parenting ADHD || Homeschooling ADHD
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an ADHD Child series! I will be posting a video on ADHD parenting every few weeks. Let’s work together at building better relationships with our exceptional and strong-willed children.
✦ Who are we?
My name is Tanya, and I’m a newbie homeschooling mom blessed with 3 kiddos, aged 7, 4, and 2. We are a eclectic, secular homeschooling family trying to grow together in knowledge and in spirit. You can find videos here about homeschooling, motherhood, parenting, ADHD, homemaking, and transitioning from a working mom to a SAHM/WAHM. Thank you for subscribing and joining our homeschool journey!
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Email: Contactprojecthappyhome@gmail.com
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✦ Intro music:
PACIFIC SUN by Nicolai Heidlas Music https://soundcloud.com/nicolai-heidlas
Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported— CC BY 3.0
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Please watch: “Natural Supplements for ADHD || Supplements to Improve Focus and Calm”
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Thankyou for your informative and heart-felt video. As a parent with a 9 and 6 year old ADHD I can relate.
Hi
Thus,is,wonderful and very helpful. Im following you closely. This tips that,you,have stated allot of them work. I even tried the ‘we don’t act like that"while watching this video and it worked.thank you,so much
AWESOME POINTS and TIPS! My son is 8years old. I wish I knew these before. Thanks for sharing and enlightening us!
Awesome Tanya, Thank you. Your info is the best!
But how do I know if my kid has ADHD!?!!
I’m 24 and I’ve recently been diagnosed with ADHD. This video made me take a moment to reflect about my own past and answered me so many questions, the main ones being why I had so much ease to remember bad memories than good ones.
I’m not putting myself down when I say "I hit the bull’s eye about the family I’ve born into" because, now when I think about it, makes sense why I take my parents divorce as traumatic situation. I always thought this was the main reason of all the problems I started having when I was only 5 years old, but, as you mention in this video, I just took a colossal punch in my stomac.
Not very later, I had issues in elementary school and tended to be very violent. You want know what the teachers and auxiliary persons told what excuse was? My parents divorce, oh but there’s more (but I’ll try to shorten the story a bit) I was yelled like it was my fault that my dear mother was gone, then I had a terrible step-mom, and because of that my father used to unleash his rage on me…
Nearly ending the equivalent of college but in Europe, I left up school, because I knew my "brain" just couldn’t take so much information… this was in 2012 and when I started noticing something was wrong by my own self.
Recently, there was a scene of violence in the family caused by me, which was an ending to a pileup tensions I’ve been living with my father and specially my grandmother for quite while now, but thanks to that, my cousin, I consider him as the brother I never had, told my aunt that something was very wrong with me and she decided to take my to the psychiatrist, which finally made us understand what was wrong… oh and make me start taking very expensive pills for hyperactivity, did help me a bit so far actually but… It causes pain on my digestive system organs and I hate feeling "drugged".
Nowadays… I feel like I’ve won this battle, since I’ve got a girlfriend and I’m in the process to start a small business and I also do music and have to work with cars which I love, plenty of good stuff.
I forgot to mention that I’m still standing. This wasn’t a pun, I also have Becker’s Homeopathy (which was another excuse to some of my relatives for being a bit harsh with me sometimes) and that’s why I said that this was a battle.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not entirely putting the blame on them, they didn’t know about this. This is why I want to start my life over, since I’m getting this opportunity. I only wish my past was a tiny bit better, but I can’t really complain, I feel happy today.
Thanks for uploading this video, was very important to me.
Best regards and best wishes for you and your kids.
I am 30 years old and have been "diagnosed" with ADHD since I was 5 years old, when I started medication. I think the hardest part is that we just don’t seem to fit the mold that has been cast for everyone else. We are intelligent, creative, and energetic. Society is looking for drones who will sit still and mindlessly absorb whatever is put in front of them. Individuals with ADHD ARE different. And that is what makes us great, and such an asset to the world.
One problem with ADHD is that it is hereditary… so that the parent ALSO struggles.
Hello I have ADHD and take medication I usually only take it for school days and I understand that it helps me. One thing never to ask a child to do if they have medication is to take it for special events or something not work-related
I’m pretty sure i don’t have adhd but i don’t know i was trying to do homework with my mom and i was yelling and grabbing things and every time i don’t realize she’s talking to me she starts yelling and she said you make me want to jump off a bridge and she leaves me to do it by myself I’ve heard enough from teachers as well for 7 years finally i get to go to childrens hospital to see what’s wrong with me I’m 11 in 6th grade now
It took me until I was 29 to realize I had ADHD, and knowing that my not-quite-three-year-old son’s father has it as well, I’m already looking out for signs of it in him (and I’m about 90% sure he does have it at this point), because I know behavioral therapy and coping mechanisms are a million times more helpful for children than they are for adults. My parents (who we live with) are not very sympathetic towards either of us in the ways that this affects our lives and abilities to respond "appropriately" to certain situations, but I’ve been holding my ground more and more as I’ve learned more about our condition and what makes us tick, and I’m already seeing improvements in my "terrible two" tantrums. The thing we do that seems to help the most (when my mother isn’t yelling over me about how I’m just feeding his fit or whatever other ignorant nonsense) is taking him aside and talking him down, explaining why things are the way that they are, why he needs to do/stop doing the thing, and making what I feel are reasonable concessions (while taking into account how late it is and whether he’s had a nap yet), and wouldn’t you know it, my kid is brilliant and agreeable the vast majority of the time, as long as he’s given the time to adjust and an explanation for him to hold onto. I think it comes more instinctively to me because he’s so much like me, but I know because of resources like this, we’re going to have a much healthier relationship than me and my folks do, and I have faith that my son will grow up to have a much more "normal" life than I ever did, having learned coping mechanisms and good habits from such a young age instead of going untreated and anything-but-blissfully ignorant for three decades, wondering why he’s such a wreck.
My son is 3.3 years he has the same really I’m too scared and I feel to die bcoz I have only son his behavior different from other child I’m loosing my hope day by day I don’t know what to do
I hate when people say "I think I have ADHD because I cant focus *sometimes*" And "Were all a little ADHD sometimes!" Or "I think I have ADHD because I forget things". Oh. My. God. This makes me so mad I can’t even handle it. ADHD is *NOT* a bad thing or a "Disability". It’s a gift. I seem to get along more with ADHD kids than non ADHD/ADD kids. My biggest pet peeve is when people say "You cant use your ADHD as an excuse for everything" And "ADHD isn’t an excuse" They are right. It’s *not* an excuse, it’s a *reason* and if they don’t understand that than someone needs to teach them. And also, if teachers don’t understand that you *can’t* sit still or focus, ask your parents to E-mail your teacher and tell them that you can’t help it. Thanks, Cc
I w, so glad to find you
Thank you so much for this video
Thank you 💜
I don’t know why I’m crying or I might know but I might be trying to ignore it. I was a really happy go lucky kind of person in my childhood days and teenage but age I grew older constantly letting down my parents I’ve really come to believe that I can’t do anything. I’m very impulsive and forgetful creating all kinds of mess. My sister is afraid whenever I go out ’cause I might get in trouble or do something stupid. It’s not that I’m trying to be a troublemaker but I end up doing it anyway. I’m super hyper, chatting with everyone making them laugh but I can’t ignore even a little hurtful word, it might not even be a hurtful word but I get hurt all the same, it doesn’t take much to discourage me, I tend to over think the negative things and find negativity even in positive things. When someone incourages me I become happy and start opening my heart and unnecessarily start annoying them, at least that’s what when I stop for a moment to think, then I’ll over think again and ruin my own mood"!! It’s a never ending cycle. I know no one cares about it but at least I could vent my frustration here. And thank you for the video😄
Everythnig you say is so true , i have twins one has Adhd and the other one has mild autism , its tough but you’r right ! I love my boys. Thank you we as mom’s need not to condemn our selfs wen we mess up.
Just came across your video, very good resource — psychologically minded and practical too. Great job!
Hi Tanya,
Thank you for the Tip on ADHD, just few days ago my wife stumbled upon the term ADHD. After comparing with our Son’s condition, we feel there are many similarities (or the same). He is still under observation by specialists, so they haven’t made any conclusions yet. But they mentioned that, my son might be in the Autistic Spectrum (but still to early to say).
The things that you said, are pretty much what we are going through. Including others are Judging him (my son), as to why he is the way he is. But in the end, the parents are the one who truly knows how special our kids are and have faith that they will be someone great later in the future.
Watching your video gave us comfort knowing that "we" are not alone on this.
So thank you
Ferdy
I just stumbled across this channel and I am in tears because my four year old son is exactly this and I feel all of these things. I have felt so alone about everything and I just needed this. Thank you.
Awesome worded perfectly thank you so much👍
It was a wonderful video. Thank you so much for your words.
Quick question for everyone, why did you decide to homeschool your child with ADHD. Also how’s it going?
This hit me hard, as a child I heard a lot of this. I often catch myself saying such things to my son who also struggles with adhd. I just dont feel comfortable putting him on medication. If any mommies out there know of a herbal supplement that helps please let me know.
You are amazing and thank you for this video 🙏🏼💕
fantastic video, thank you for sharing!
Thank you for this. I have ADHD and when I was a kid, I was called a dreamer and all I got from my mother was negativity. A lot of damage was done and it destroyed our relationship
I’m having such trouble with my six year old (almost 7) with him listening. It’s been almost a month of him just not listening no matter what. I feel like I’m doing everything I can so now I am just binge watching these kind of videos
Who else here hates when the teacher calls on you and you forgot the whole lesson . I just say this back."I DON’T KNOW" and no I don’t have ADHD , I have ADD.
Ture!!!!! I hate when people tell me to clam down and I also have ASD
Except he may never be able to do a morning routine, and that would be okay too…
I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 7 (in 1986) and prescribed Ritalin for the next 9 years….but even as a child I never felt like ADHD was what I really had, I know some of my behaviors met some of the criteria for ADHD, but my reasons for the behavior were different from what my doctors said. I was aware that I had an above average intelligence level when compared to most of my classmates (so being called stupid cut me like razor blades). But I was often overloaded with stimuli from just observing the world around me, so I would appear "slow" because I would work a train of thought in problem solving were I would consider all possible outcomes for a certain action. My mind would work every equation as far as it could, I always asked the question "why?". (this "Why?" led to people thinking I had Oppositional Defiance Disorder, and that couldn’t have been further from the truth.
Last year, I heard about a condition called Low Level Inhibition, and everything from my childhood and my current way of critical thinking fell into place while learning about it. LLI can manifest itself outwardly in similar ways as ADHD does, so misdiagnosis may be relatively common…but it is quite different than ADHD. (Ya’ll can read about it instead me typing a longer novel than I already have).
No matter what diagnosis I received though probably wouldn’t have stopped my mother from saying those abusive phrases, and it was absolutely abusive from my perspective as a developing child…and that constant verbal abuse played a major role in my development of Borderline Personality Disorder by the time I was 15 years old. 🙁
Every time I fall of the rack…I watch your tips…and get back on track 💖
I say don’t act blank 🤷
Great advice, you’re a great speaker amd it feels good to know I’m not the only one dealing with this. I tried the meds with my 7 yo daughter and it was terrible with every med we tried. No more meds and homeschooling is the best thing I’ve done. I’ve seen the looks from parents in the past and sometimes still. Btw love your lipstick color!
Im super late..but this is definitely the best video i have seen. You just changed my life. Thank you!
He *might* become a 30 year old gentleman who has trouble maintaining the routines you have practiced as a child. That’s ok too, and you won’t love him any less. As an adult with ADHD, I come back to child oriented videos to bring me back to basics, like maintaining routines. I hope that if that does come to pass, and that he does grow up to still struggle (highly likely, even with a good start like you’re giving your son) that he doesn’t watch this at 30+. Saying that we mature emotionally later? At some degree, many of us never "catch up" with emotional regulation no matter how we prepare. The current research seems to say that it’s not just delayed maturation, but also just different maturation, we don’t end up at the same place. Emotional volatility is the same thing as passionate in many of us, and the passion is qualitatively different than those who have matured emotionally in a different way. Great video, all around, and just wanted to point out that this video is on the internet and as a 34 year old with ADHD… That cut, and you’re a complete internet stranger!
… I’m no longer a slave to fear.. I am a child if God.
Very inspiring song about fear.
i have adhd and i applaud this video
My elder daughter has ADHD. Its hard especially in a cntry like India where everything is so competitive. Sometimes I am really scared for her.
Thanx for the advice. I am doing everything to help her. In my view Unconditional love is the best meds for her.
Can you more video like this.
I remember being a child. It took 3 years for me to understand I had to pick up my towel after bath. I don’t know why I couldn’t. I remember wanting to though, because my mom would always go nuts haha. or leaving the house soon enough so that I don’t miss the bus. loosing homework all the time. They never was very hard on my own personal space when it comes to how clean my room was, as long as I kept the common places clean, and I never had pressure to maintain high grades, 60 is the passing grade where i lived so as long as i was over that they were proud of me. I didn’t know I had adhd before last year I was 18.
Very helpful video…. Thanks a million
Who else here is an adult with ADHD and wishing your parent/s couldve watched this video while you were still a kid?
ADHD seriously ruined my childhood. I have so many memories of people saying “you’re just lazy” and “did you take your medicine?”, “ADHD isn’t real, that’s just an excuse”, “If I had something like that I’d never forget to take my medicine” the principal in fifth grade said that to me right after she told me that my hair looked stupid because I had used pencils to twist it into buns for fun. Feeling like I’m being made fun of by my parents when they laugh at something I’m excited about STILL drives me nuts. I’ll think about this stuff for months, even years afterwards. I’m so afraid to have biological children because I would never want to put a child of mine through that and even having it I would feel so unprepared and unable to soothe the stress that comes with it. The school systems just don’t know what to do with us. We don’t fit. Just constantly being told that my issues are made up when all I want is to live a normal life and do normal things is just so infuriating.
It seems like my mom doesn’t want to tell me somthing
This video is sooooo cringe to me.
Everything you have gone over is the way my son’s mother treats my son. Screaming at him, saying his actions are "stupid", abandoning him to complete his tasks such as homework and "chores" when he has never done them before because "he has to learn", "I love you but", and the list goes on.
Her solution now….Ritalin.
I’m an adult child of alcoholics and have acute compulsive disorders (substance abuse) myself and am currently a prisoner of the state of Colorado serving a felony sentence for my fourth DUI. I have uncles, cousins and grandparents with alcolism too. She literally thinks rolling the dice on putting my son on an addictive substance to "keep him in line" is a viable solution.
When my son and I are together, I don’t have problems with his "behavior" because I sit with him and do homework and it only takes minutes instead of hours like when he’s with his mom. When he gets frustrated, we talk the entire scenario out and almost always he sees other perspectives and calms down. We play A LOT. I dont have trouble getting him to go to bed like at his mother’s home.
He is hitting teachers and other students and acting out not because he’s a bad kid, but because he hasn’t seen his father in a year and a half.
Really? Is the solution to a lineage of substance abuse incarceration for one and prescribed addiction for the next? Is this the best we can do?
I was just told my son have this. And I don’t know what to do.